What men really
1. The reason
our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually
CHANGE our underwear.
2. The next
time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a
poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet
3. If we're
watching football with you, it's not bonding. We're watching
because of the butts.
4. If the
truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your
possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the
6. Don't fret
if you find out that the postman delivers more than once a
don't drive when you're not driving.
8. Lay off
the beans several hours before bedtime.
bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths
that you take.
10. If you
were really looking for an honest answer you wouldn't ask in
11. The next
time you joke about female drivers, research the number of
accidents caused by rubbernecking at miniskirts.
12. If only
women gossip, how do you and your buddies keep track of "who's
telling us that most male strippers are gay: WE DON'T
parting and combing your hair to one side early in life: You'll
never see the island coming.
15. Have a
strong need for male bonding? Visit your proctologist.
contributions to your child should go above and beyond that
chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.
contact is best established above our shoulder level.