Moses' account of the creation in the book of
Genesis is so familiar and so entrenched in our cultural heritage
that many accept as actual historic fact the assertion that Woman
was created from one of Adam's ribs. Science has railed
against such simple beliefs for centuries; last week, at a dig in
the escarpments along the western shore of the Dead Sea,
archeologist have uncovered ancient, original texts that pre-date
Moses' writings by 1,300 years.
Translated, their accounts of life's beginnings
on earth are much more scientifically plausible ...and God created
Woman, giving her three breasts to succor her young. And God spake,
saying to her, "I have created thee as I see fit, but mine is no
longer the only opinion in the universe (sigh). Is there anything
about thee that thou would
And Woman spoke, saying, "Lord, I am not made to
birth whole litters; I do not need but two breasts."
And God said, "Thou speak wisely, as I have
created thee with Wisdom."
There was a crack and a lingering odor of ozone
and other non-identifiable substances like used socks found behind
the couch, and it was done, and Woman stood holding her third
breast in her hand and looked up at the Lord and exclaimed, "Now
just what am I gonna do with this useless boob?"
And so it was, God created Man!