Things not to say when you get pulled over by
a police officer:
- I can't reach my license unless you hold my
- Sorry, Officer, I didn't notice my radar
detector wasn't plugged in.
- Aren't you the guy from the Village
- Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to
stay with me! Good job!
- I thought you had to be in relatively good
physical condition to be a police officer.
- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to
finish high school instead.
- Bad cop! No donut!
- You're not gonna check the trunk, are
- Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire
- Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on
- So, uh, you on the take, or what?
- Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The
last officer only gave me a warning, too!
- Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay,
just so one of us does.
- I was trying to keep up with traffic.
Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of
me they are.
- What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?"
You're the trained specialist.
- Well, when I reached down to adjust my seat, my
gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the
gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.