Police control joke
Things not to say when you get pulled over by a police officer:
- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
- Sorry, Officer, I didn't notice my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
- Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
- Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to stay with me!  Good job!
- I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
- Bad cop!  No donut!
- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
- Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
- Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
- So, uh, you on the take, or what?
- Gee, Officer!  That's terrific!  The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
- Do you know why you pulled me over?  Okay, just so one of us does.
- I was trying to keep up with traffic.  Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.
- What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?"  You're the trained specialist.
- Well, when I reached down to adjust my seat, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.