Männer - Multiple Choice
Note: I've discovered that all "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions. Knowing this, women will have come far in understanding men and enriching their own lives.
1. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
        A. Innocence.
        B. Idealism.
        C. Cherry bombs.
2. When is it okay to kiss another male?
        A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without
           regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
        B. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
        C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the
           only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for
           business reasons, you have to have him killed.
3. What about hugging another male?
        A. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.
        B. If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver.
        C. If you're a professional baseball player and a teammate hits
           a home run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided
           that: (1) He is legally within the base path, (2) Both of you
           are wearing sufficient protection, and (3) You also pound him
           fratern ally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.
4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
        A. a cat.
        B. a dog.
        C. A dog that eats cats.
5. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you
   are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic
   friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated
   device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite
   supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently
   eliminating opp ression and violence all over the entire Earth. You
        A. Present it to the President of the United States.
        B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
        C. Take it apart.
6. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and
   intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely
   Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a
   football game; she's reading the papers. Suddenly, out of the clear
   blue sky, she tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but she
   can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your
   relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to
   get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of
   future together. What do you say?
        A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future,
           but you don't want to rush it.
        B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you
           cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make
           a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by
           holding out false hope.
        C. That you cannot believe the Vikings called a draw play on
           third and seventeen.
7. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to
   spend the rest of your life with her - sharing the joys and the
   sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
        A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
        B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her
           name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing
           her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
        C. Tell her what?
8. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to
   get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
        A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
        B. "They're in school already?"
        C. "There are three of them?"
9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the
   fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years
   before they finally got to the Promised Land?
        A. He was being tested.
        B. Wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they
           finally got there.
        C. He refused to ask for directions.
10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
        A. Democracy.
        A. Religion.
        B. Remote control.