The embarrassing truth
Seems God was just about done creating the
universe, but He had two extra things left in his bag of creations,
so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the
couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability
to stand up while urinating.
"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple
who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering
if either one of you wanted that ability."
Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me!
I'd love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of thing a man
should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that
ability. It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming
the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so
cool. I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be
me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh
On and on he went like an excited little boy who
had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted
that so badly, he could have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing
that would make him happy, and she really wouldn't mind if Adam
were the one given this ability.
And so Adam was give the ability to control the
direction of his misdirection while in a vertical position. And he
was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree
nearest him, laughing with delight all the while. And it was
"Fine, " God said, looking back into his bag of
leftover gifts. "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple