1.) What do you
call an eternity?
Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
2.) Why do Blondes
have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
3.) Three Blondes
were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car
for four hours they
finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left", so
they turned around
and went home.
4.) What do SMART
Blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
5.) What did the
Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, Daddy...Doughnut seeds.
6.) Why did the
Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
7.) Why do blondes
always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
8.) How can you
tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
9.) Why can't
Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!
10.) What do you do
if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a
grenade in her mouth!
11.) How can you
tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out all
over the monitor.
12.) Why shouldn't
Blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to
13.) A brunette
goes to the doctor and as she touches every part of her body with
her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my
arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks,
"Were you ever a blonde?" "Yes I was." she replies. "Why do you
ask?" The doctor answers, "because your finger is
14.) A Blonde and a
brunette were walking outside when the brunette said, "Oh look at
the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward and said, "Where,
15.) A brunette is
standing on train tracks, jumping from rail to rail, saying "21"
"21". A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her.
She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21".
Suddenly, the brunette hears a train whistle and jumps off the
tracks just as the Blonde is splattered all over the place. The
Brunette goes back to jumping from rail to rail, couning "22"
16.) How do you
drown a Blonde?
Put a scratch &
sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
17.) Why does it
take longer to make a Blonde snowman as opposed to a egular
You have to
hollow out the head.
18.) How do you get
a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in
19.) Why don't
Blondes like making KOOL-AID?
Because they can't fit 8
cups of water in the little packet.
20.) Did you hear
about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car
at the drive-in movie theater?
They went to see
"Closed for winter".
21.) Why won't they
hire Blondes as pharmacists?
They keep breaking the
prescription bottles in the typewriters.
22.) A Blonde walks
up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The
blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She
returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the
machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind
the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping
and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around
and shouts in her face, "Can't you see I'm winning?!"
23.) Two blondes
were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The
first blonde said, "These look like deer tracks," and the other one
said, "No they look like moose tracks." They argued and
argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit
24.) Two blondes
were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a
coat hanger, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger
stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said
anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is
25.) A young blonde
woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an
affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. Then one day
she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful
redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The
husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to
shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the
husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
26.) Hear about the
blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to
realize she could play it at night.
27.) What happened
to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring
28.) What did the
blonde say when she saw a sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled
29.) Why did the
blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the
30.) How do you
make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on