50 REASONS TO BE A
3. Free movies (you
get the point).
4. You can hug your
friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay.
5. You can hug your
friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay.
6. You know The
Truth about whether size matters.
7. Speeding ticket?
8. New lipstick
gives you a whole new lease on life.
9. You never had to
walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in
10. If you have sex
with someone and don't call them the next day, you're not the
11. Condoms make no
significant difference in your enjoyment of sex.
12. If you have to
be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud.
13. If you're not
making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.
14. You can sleep
your way to the top.
15. You can sue the
President for sexual harassment.
16. Nothing crucial
can be cut off with one clean sweep.
17. It's possible
to live your whole life without ever taking a group
18. No fashion faux
pas you make could rival The Speedo.
20. You don't have
to fart to amuse yourself.
21. If you cheat on
your spouse, people assume it's because you're being emotionally
22. YOU never have
to wonder if his orgasm was real.
23. You'll never
have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.
24. No one passes
out when you take off your shoes.
25. If you think
the person you're dating really likes you, you don't have to break
up with them.
26. Excitement is
only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.
27. If you forget
to shave, no one has to know.
28. You can
congratulate your teammate without ever touching her
29. If you have a
zit, you can conceal it.
30. You never have
to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still
31. If you're dumb,
some people will find it cute.
32. You don't have
to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
33. You have the
ability to dress yourself.
34. You have an
excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
35. You can talk to
people of the opposite sex without having to picture them
36. If you marry
someone 20 years younger, you're aware that you look like an
37. If you're
wearing cologne, you don't have to pretend it's
38. You'll probably
never see someone you know while peeing in an alley.
39. You'll never
have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
40. You can quickly
end any fight by crying.
41. Your friends
won't think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your
42. There are times
when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
43. You've never
had a goatee.
44. Gay waiters
don't make you uncomfortable.
45. You'll never
regret piercing your ears.
46. You can fully
assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
47. You'll never
discover you've been duped by a Wonderbra.
48. You don't have
hair on your back.
49. You know which
glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
50. You get to hate
a female rival in the way only another woman truly